After a quiet summer, I resumed my studies again and until now
everything feels a little more authentically compared to last year.
Finally I have the feeling that we are not only engaged in idle
discussions but much more that "some" people do have a lot of things
to say. A lot of things which are not only based on personal and
emotion laden meaning but as well on reflection and research. I was
missing this during the first to semesters. Maybe it got something to
do with the fact that after studying for one year, most of the people
now have something to talk about and maybe it has something to do with
the developing social process amongst the students and especially in
our course. It doesn't matter what it is, I definitely know that I
like it much better this way. I reckon, that everybody who believes in
deliberation and discussion as some form of looking for truth, has to
feel this way.
I still do feel uncomfortable about the academic way of doing things
and especially doing research, but think I feel that my attitudes
towards it just began to change slightly. I don't see it as limitation
or threat to my free (if it is possible to put it in this way) and
creative thoughts, but much more as a given structure, which I can as
well use for methodological advance (read training).
